Crash && alliance

1.I saw Crash for the first time last night and thought it was intriguing.
2.I decided to choose Hansen as character because he is personally my favorite character. Hansen is a young man who is a kind and held up his own for many years. He is a new cop but his partner is a cruel, racist and twisted man who trust to pollutes Hansen's mind.
Hansen seems like a dynamic character, in fact I think all of the characters are dynamic. For an example Hansen is seen as a young smart and diverse man but at the end he kills a kid that was innocent. We base a person's character on their actions when we need to realize that life does so much to a person. As the movie goes on Hansen becomes a person that he really isn't because of life's frustrations and unpredictablity. Our behavior doesn't only affect ourselves but our lives connects with so many other people.
3.The theme of the movie is that a person is the way they are for a reason. A person isn't just cruel, there is a reason why that person is cruel. Life has run it's course to people and based off of their situation they act the way they do. This movie portrayed the theme well because it shows life's situation as lifes intertwine with each other.
4.This movie has brought up alot of thoughts and now as I watch movies I will see the theme. Watching a movie with a thought of literature helps you catch alot of stuff that you could easily miss because just watching it as just entertainment you are often too relax to be aware of everything that is happening.



I went to Alliance on Friday at 10am. I had planned on going this coming up Tuesday but made a last minute change in plan. GOing to Alliance was almost like bringing out the story The Boys Next Door to life. The lady told me about the people there and how they try to teach these people the basic ways to live life. FOr an example on girl was taught to drive a gold cart and that was her special job so everyday she would drive people from one building to the next. It was something that was special to her only and gave her happiness in the simple thing that she could do. They also are partnered with business like Publix and Publix agreed to give them small special jobs that they could do like sewing. These jobs are simply yet it helped the people find accomplishment. Some of the people are able to stay on their own just like the boys next door, where they would all stay in one house and try to function together while others live at home or in a special home. THis faucility does so much to help these people through life. IT's hard enough living life as "normal" people do but when you are mentally disabled it has to be so much harder yet there are people who are will sarifice so much time to help those in need.

What we talk about when we talk about love

What We Talk about When We Talk about Love is about two couples sitting around the kitchen table talking about love. Mel is the main speaker who has been marriage to Terri for 4 years and the narrator, Nick, has been married to his wife for a year and a half. The four people are drinking gin and Mel and Terri talk about Terri’s first love, Ed. Terri claims that Ed loved her while Mel just thinks Ed was mentally disabled. “My God, don’t be silly. That’s not love, and you know it,” Mel says. “I don’t know what you call it, but I sure know you wouldn’t call it love.” “Say what you want to, but I know it was,” Terri says. “It may sound crazy to you, but it’s true just the same. People are different, Mel, Sure, sometimes he may have acted crazy. Okay. But he loved me. IN his own way maybe, but he loved me. There’s love there Mel. Don’t say there wasn’t.” The couple debates on what love really is and how could a man how loves Terri so much hurt her? Mel goes on to talk about how he hates his ex wife and struggles with the question of loving her so much when they were married but now he wants her to die. What changed it for them and why does love change so quickly? The question they struggle with is what is love really? How do you measure it and how is it defined? But as the story goes on they slowly get drunk as the night draws late.

The first time I read this story just as a story. It was intriguing but I never thought about it. As I read this story again and again I understood how complex it really is. We put love into this definition, just like Mel. He claims that love is just the typical definition whereas Terri claims that Ed loved her even though he threatened her. So when I read this it makes me personally wonder whether love is simply the typical feeling or it is something more complex. How do we know that what we feel is really love or is it just passion and desire? What makes us love for now and not forever? Mel used to love his ex wife deeply but then a few years later he can’t stand her. “There isn’t a day that goes by that Mel doesn’t say he wishes she’d get married again. Or else die,” Terri said. “For one thing,” Terri said, “she’s bankrupting us. Mel says it’s just to spite him that she won’t get marriage again. She has a boyfriend who lives with her and the kids, so Mel is supporting the boyfriend too.” How can we define which love is legitimate and which love is temporary and is there such thing as temporary love or is that just infatuation?

As young adults we are about to make serious and important decisions for our future. Who to marry and when do we know who to marry. People claim that the divorce rate in America is 50% and it goes up higher if you’ve been married before so as I read this story I wonder what love is really. As I look around on campus and talk to my fellow classmate I wonder who is in love and how long will they be in love for. Can love be a temporary thing yet truly love or is legitimate love everlasting? Is love this “you just know” feeling that I’ve been taught all of my life and does everyone get that feeling? If it is that “you just know it” feeling then what about the people who get married just because they have a baby together then over time they truly do love each other? I suppose love can be a gradual movement as well but then at the same time if you can gradually fall into love…can you gradually fall out of love. If so, is that really loved or is it just the thought or feeling of love? I have a friend who loves to be in love. I’m not completely sure what that really is but that is how people describe her. She has been so in love that she wanted to marry the guy, 3 months into the relationship. Here I am sitting on the side thinking that this woman is crazy but I can see how in love she is. They were glowing with “love” and they had so many plans and to me it was impulsive but who am I to judge what I don’t know. I don’t know how she feels. What if she does love this guy with all of her heart? There are crazy stories like that you know?! Crazy people getting married 3 months into their relationship because they “knew” it was meant to be and they have lasted. My pastor is one example, 4 months into the relationship “knew” they were meant to be and got married. So my friend is heads over hill for this man and I’m doubting the relationship. Is love irrational or does it follow a pattern? Going back to the story Ed used to beat Terri and she still claims it to be love. “He did love me though, Mel. Grant me that,” Terri said. “That’s all I’m asking. He didn’t love me the way you love me. I’m not saying that but He loved me. You can grant me that, can’t you?” So is this love or is this just an imagination of what she wants to be love? Now I go back to my friend how eventually broke up with her boyfriend after so many months and doesn’t even talk about him. He cheated on her with some chick from his school. Now you have to wonder where does love come from and how far does it go? He loved my friend but at the same time he loved this other chick and she loved him. After the break up they don’t talk, not even mentioned his name. So was that love? Does love come and go so easily? With all of her heart she claims that that was her love, but is that the correct usage or love or is love so simple that we look so deeply for a meaning that isn’t really there?

enormous wings

So I read the story the Very old Man with Enormous Wings and to tell you the truth that story was confusing. To understand it I read it a second time and I still didn’t truly understand this story. But I can tell you that it was sad how the Old Man was taken such advantage off. He supposedly was the reason for the baby to get better and to thank him they threw into a hen pin. They is scrutinized by a bunch of people and harassed. In the end he ends up helping that family make a lot of money for them to redo their home and to get new clothes and to repay him they did nothing. It was because of him that they had so rich. The parents won’t let the baby get near the Old Man when he’s not even dangerous. He didn’t hurt anyone throughout his stay and he hardly even moves as is. In the end the Old Man turns into a crow and flies off and the wife is glad to be rid of him. I must have misunderstood this story because I see that family as being ever ungrateful.
Anyways this story was just odd and confusing to me but I still like the illustration. It was very creative to give it the least. I could tell you I couldn’t come up with anything like that. To make a story about a Old Man and the chaos that comes with him and then to have him turn into a crow. How interesting this is. Where does one come up with such a story? I feel like I read the story wrong because somehow the morals or the reasoning behind the story was very unclear. It was defiantly interesting though. Creative and Interesting.

act 1

I had never really thought about mentally disabled people before. I mean I know about them and I know life tends to be harder for them but really I’ve never taken the time to see how they really take life. After reading the first act I realize how being mentally disabled can really affect the life that you live. Lucien is a 50 year old man who is slow in his thinking. He often repeats things over and over again, and he doesn’t understand the most basic things in life. He has a hard time understanding the world around him. “I stand before you, a middle-aged man in an uncomfortable suit, a man whose capacity for rational thought is somewhere between a five-year old and an oyster. I am retarded. I am damaged. I am sick inside from so many hours and days and months and years of confusion, utter and profound confusion. I am mystified by faucets and radios and elevators and newspapers and popular songs.”
This is a man how feels so much but cannot understand. All of the people he lives with are also mentally disabled. Living from day to day is a struggle for them. They struggle to understand why buying 17 boxes of wheaties at the grocery store is overkill. They talk over each other and don’t listen to each other. The life that they live are chaotic and confusing while they live together; they don’t truly understand each other. It’s like they are just living, they can’t function on their own. How hard is it to be this way but then again when you are in this stage…do you really know? We sympathize because we compare ourselves to them but they don’t know to do that. To them, they are “normal” living a blissful and happy life (for the most part).

act 1

musuem

“I went to the Polk Museum of Art for this assignment, and I stayed there for at least 40 minutes.” Honestly I love museums. I think they are so fascinating. Back at home I use to go to several museums, spending my summer at the museums. It’s so cool looking at artwork and things that people see with their minds. I wish I could draw or paint or mold cool stuff together, but I have very little talent in this field but I do love to look at people’s work. Polk Museum allowed me to see the creativity that people are so blessed with. Each painting and artwork was so special in its own way and so full of stories. Why would someone paint something like that? What were they thinking to have that pop in their minds? Some artwork had so much colors or lack of and in those paintings you can really see the intensity of the person’s feelings and thoughts. This is the reason why I love painting and artwork more than books and poems. I am visual so I can see it and plus I can see their mind and emotions on one page. Words are good but if you can tell a whole story with a few colors then that’s true talent.

As I was walking through I saw this ceramic that was truly captivating to me. It was simple but cool. It was a cup with faded colors; there were only three colors on it. The pattern just twisted its way up the cup. The simplicity of it was just so amazing to me. How art isn’t just talents, it’s the story and the intensity of each object. THis is the clay that I have based my poem on. As the artist sits and thinks of what they will do with this pile of clay and what they would have thought.


I sit thinking
what will you become today?
Just as the father molds me
he molds me into the person I will be

what will you become today?
will you tell the intensity of my pain
will you tell my love for another
or will you just simply be

which one of my story will you tell
will you display my loneliness
that i face on my own?
in your colors and shape that i will mold

which one of my story will you tell
will you explain the happiness that i have
the love ones in my life
the blessings I have in such abundance?

or will you display my sorrow?
will you oh clay tell the story of my loss
great things I have given up
to be at this very place i've come to

oh pile of clay
here you sit in my hand..
which story will you tell
what will you become today?

beauty

"Beauty isn't always carefully planned and programmed. Sometimes it's just a matter of slowing down and giving the mind and soul time to be reflective and responsive, and then looking or listening and going with what is seen or heard. The writing, the music, the painting the art will begin to open doors as it advances, without my always knowing where it is going or what the end result will be."

How true is this quote? Sometimes we try too hard t find beauty. We spend money to go on a cruise or go across the country. We feel like going to a unfimilar place brings more beauty to us when really it is in the simple things that are usually around us. The bad thing about the fimiliarity is that people get bored with it, people forget that it is there. There is beauty in the the lake on our campus but its too close or we see it too often to find too much beauty in it. We define beauty with money such as "a beautiful wedding" or "a beautiful dress" those things cost money when true beauty is often simplicity. It's the way a tree sways to the breeze, the way a bird sings to another. Beauty is in the way your little girl laughs or a the way traffic flows. Beauty does depend on the person but not just in any way, it's a person who has thought and realized with his mind what his heart desires.

The poem speaks of painting and art as an easy way to find beauty. Is that not the truth. Sit down and pull out your coloring utensils or perhaps pull out your guitar. It is in sitting still and let your surroundings resentates in your mind. Let your mind wonder, not to just anything that will cause distraction, but to the nature. Art and music will cause you to slow down and to relax. It causes you to think and wonder and in these times you will find that beauty is everywhere.

questions

In Professor Corrigan's paper he talks about the darkness. Not just any darkness really but the question of "where is God in our darkness?" This is a question that people ask when they go through a rough time. Only in dark times though. Most of us don't take time to think about this question unless we are hurting. It doesn't cross our mind when life is dandy. Why would we need to think about such things? In fact unless we look for it we won't even realize that those times and thoughts exists. Suddenly pain and suffereing falls on us and we are taken back. When we have come to the point of hopelessness, death, illness or a loss of some sort we fall apart. We hurt and cry out to God for him. We cry to him and deserpately demand for his attention. We want answers while he waits. People tell us everything is going to be alright. How do they know that? Can they look into the future and see that in a few months we pull through just fine? Or is that just to make us feel better? Do they even believe that everything will be ok or is it just something people say in those times? Perhaps they went through this sort of thing and came out just fine therefore they are cheering for you through their experiences.

But what about the people who don't make it through ok? I mean several people go into deep depression, injure themselves, withdrawl from the world or even kill themselves. They didn't end up ok. So in the end some of those encouragements turned into lies. THey were not ok. How dark does it get before God turns from us? I mean really. God doesn't stand darkness, he's perfect so he can't mess with that stuff. So what happens when we hit rock buttom?

nature

I love friday's class. It was exciting to get to sit outside for the nature poem. Professor Corrigan always has a way of incorporating our literature class in with what the subject is. It's such a fun way and a different atmosphere to be in. Friday was so beautiful outside. THe sun was out, the sky was clear and it seemed like everything sparkled in the day. We sat in the dock as professor Corrigan read the poems to us.

The poems were about nature and how they would use nature to get their points across. Nature is always a good thing to use because everyone understands nature. Even if a girl living in Chile has never seen snow she has at least understand the concept and seen it on tv. Nature is something that is all around us. As we read about trees and grass we were able to visually see it. It became easier to understand the poems because we were close to them, at time we could even touch these things. THis is a better way of understand literature compared to sitting in a class room and just reading. We know what tall grass looks like in the wind but sitting in the classroom we just imagine but being outside we got to see it first hand. This is the good thing about getting to experience literature.

Nature sights like the bright sun. We watched a mother duck lead her babies across the lake but there was one that stayed behind. We watched as the mosses on the trees sway back and forth in the breeze. The lake was peaceful and sparkled in the sun. I just wanted to stick my feet in the cool water, it looked so inviting! It was such a peaceful place to be even professor Corrigan got distracted a few times and pointed out huge fishes. They were the biggest fish i had ever seen, almost a foot and a half. I wander what they taste like...anways friday was fun.

lake bonny

Do you see it?
Do you see the grass dancing
dancing to their own rythm
as the wind blows

Look, further beyond the lake
for the ways the breaches on the old oak tree waves
waving to each other as if to say "good day"
as the wind blows

the palm trees swaying to the music of nature
the restling of the leaves
holding our their arms to the warm rays of the sun
as the wind blows

Do you hear it?
quacking ducks with their chicklings
following closely to each other
while they play follow the leader

Do you hear the birds chirping
chirping to the joys of the day
see them as they twist and turn
as they glide across the sparkling lake

Do you feel it?
Do you feel as the wind passes through your hair
wrapping itself around you as it passes by
as the wind blows

Does the wind make you wonder
as where it came from
or where it is going
as the wind blows





I went to Lake Bonny park for this assignment and I stayed for at least 40 minutes.
As I went to Lake Bonny I was excited. I love nature and I love being outside. The 8 months that I have been here I have not take the chance to visit any of the lakes. This was a disappointment but this assignment gave the opportunity to do so. Lake Bonny is such a peaceful place to be. I brought a blanket with me and sat by the lake, feeling the gentle breeze pass by. The little ducks were especially cute as they followed their mother around. They always swam in a row but of course there is always one that goes astray. To my left I saw a squirrel running up and down the palm tree. Was this for mere exercise or did he have a purpose in his manic state? I also saw a bird, a white beautiful bird gliding across the water. He started up high then he gets lower. Suddenly he swoops into the water and picks up something; a fish probably. Such a spectacular show this lake is holding. As I look down I see a huge fish, a foot and a half! He’s swimming close to the shore, going about his own business. Oh how I wish I could get a closer look. I’ve never seen such a large fish. I wanted to catch it with a fishing pole. What a wonderful catch he would be but then why would I interrupt nature for my own happiness? How selfish that would be, so I sit, sit and watch him as he passes by fully happy with that fact that I saw him. This lake has so much to offer, but people give it very little attention for it is small or perhaps it is just a lake. Perhaps being just a lake is good enough, good enough to be the most peaceful of all place.

inner/outer

For last class we talked about the inner and outer personality that each person has. Most people do not take the time to analyze themselves so therefore people don't realize different layers that they have. The way that these layers work is God should be immersed in our lives and everyday thoughts, then the outer part that everyone can see or our surface level is next and lastly our inner self is deeply enbedded inside of us.

The differences between each of these personality level is quite different though most people will not see this unless they have taken the time to really think about themselves. The outer level is the easiest to know. That is a person's personality that you can see from watching them or seeing them or even listening to them speak. Most people do know this level of themselves. It's our persons that we carry from day to day. The inner self is the part that isn't easily understood. This is the part that we truly must seek out to understand if we want to know it. This is the part that is the 90% of the iceberg that is under the water.

When reading the Blessed House the two character used had both parts. At first I saw twinkle as just a bubbly, care-free wife who is just about the outer layer. She has the same friendly and care free personality throughout the story while her husband had alot of emotions flowing through his mind. As I read on the story at one point Twinkle was so upset that she started to cry, she has never been so upset in his presence before. At this point we get to see the inner levels of Twinkle. The emotions that she carried. Why was that silly religious figurine mean so much to her? We don't know but we know that she was very distrought over it. Throughout the story I thought that Sanjeev showed his inner levels alot. He seems to show the reader how he felt and why he felt the way he did. He had alot of anger that he carried with him, his esteem that he needed to keep up. One point in the story when we really saw his inner self was when he told Twinkle where her shoes were when her foot started to hurt. Both of these characters showed immense levels of the person thorughout the story.

the blessed house

The blessed house is about a couple who are not Christians but they keep on finding Christians figurines in their house. Sanjeev is the husband who has a very good job and makes a good bit of money while the wife, Twinkle, is more of a free spirit lady. Twinkle is thrilled by all of their religious figurine's in their home while Sanjeev refuses to accept these items. During the story Sanjeev is wondering who his wife is, as if she has changed over time and he does not like it. He goes back to the time when he and his wife use to date and he remembers how he use to be crazy about her. He use to love all of her corkiness and her odd habits but just like every married couple those things get annoying after time.

Sanjeev would get angry at the fact that he feels that all his wife does is just goes on a treasure hunt for the figurines and not contribute to the house. As the story goes on the religious fingurines become more of a burden to him while Twinkle gets more thrilled. As time goes by the reader can tell that Sanjeev gets a intense passive aggression towards her and her religious phase. He clearly tells Twinkle that he doesn't like it but other than that he doesn't tell her why he doens't like it. As a reader I feel like there was a miscommunication in this story. Twinkle doesn't what she wants and she cries when she doens't get her way. Sanjeev says the same thing about the figurines but does not do anything about them. The two couples get more aggrivated with each other was time goes by but they don'e talk about their aggravation.

To have a good marriage there must be good communication. Both parties must understand what the other person is say but more than that we must understand why. Just like the short story about how the two boys were making up a superhero their quesiton is not "what can he do." It's "why does he do what he does." To understand/explain the question why is to get to the deepest part of the heart, to understand their intention and their motives.

cut flowers

She has never been here before. So low, so sad. Her heart pounds through her chest, tears races down her cheeks. Trying to maintain her emotion she takes a deep breathe. She presses the brakes and pulls her Volkswagon over. Pulls down her visor to look at herself in the mirror. Red eyes, red cheeks, tears streaming down her face. It didn't happen. How could he do that to me? Didn't he love me? These questions turned in her mind. She touched her stomach, she needed to puke. He lied. Foever, loving her always, always being there for her... all lies. She didn't care what he had said now. None of it was true. His definition of forever and hers were appearently not the same thing. The more she thought about it the more she hated him. Hated the every thought of him, hated to have ever known him. Hated that she spent so much time to know him. All of the times she spent these months. What would have happened if she didnt know him? It was foolish thinking because the fact was she knew him. She spent her time with him. She pulls her volkswagon out and starts down the street again. The thought of him filled her mind. He was tall with blue eyes. He smelled like heaven when she sat next to him. She didn't really think Heaven had a smell to it but if it did it would smell just like him. He had this confident that glowed from his body, walked just like he owned the world. He said he'd love her forever...but how long was forever?

They met many months ago. How long? No one really remembers but it didn't matter. It was long enough. She worked in a gym those many months ago. He entered, he enterend with so much confident. She was knew at work, he must be a regular. Those muscles that his arm bares, yes he must be a regular. She catches his sight and he returned a smile. She must meet him but she's too shy. She's not that kind of a girl. Don't get me wrong she's pretty with that long blonde hair. Her body fit for the 6 mile marathon she is training for in the spring.

"He doens't look like a guy with too many thoughts, just another one of those" she says to herself and walk away. She must walk away. Days past and he keeps returning and she keeps staring.

"One of these days you're going to have to stop looking at me and just go out on a date with me."
These words shot through her hears. Her cheeks burned with intensity as the voice came from behind her. He was standing right behind her. So close she saw his veins in his arms. He was too close, he came too suddenly. She was not ready. She just didn't know how not ready she was.
"I don't date guys like you" she replies. Waiting for his reply her heart beat raced.
"You don't even know what kind of a guy I am."
He was right she didn't, she could assume though.
"One date..." He states, all he needed was just one date.

One date was all it took. He was sweet. Roses, any color. Not picked or cut roses, the ones that lasts forever in a pot. Chocolate, not for her for him. He bought them for her but he knew she didn't like chocolate. It was just an excuse for him to eat chocolate yet appear thoughtful. Nice restaurants on weekends and fast food for the week days. Cut daisies for her mother, hand shake for her father and candies for her sister. He knew what he was doing. Months go by and she cut some hours out of work to have mor time with him. She slept in now since they go out so late at night. They go mostly to bars and kareokie. They sing late into the night, sipping on bar and munching on peanuts. She can't do friday nights with the girls anymore. Friday is their guitar class. They've learned to play Jack Johnson and John Mayer. Together they started volunteering at the homeless shelter and volunteering at church functions. He didn't go to church. He didn't care about religion. She grew up in church, a large white church with a cross for every car passing by to see. She used to go weekly but now that they were together it wasn't a priority. On occassion when they go he sits patiently waiting for it to end so they could go eat lunch. Even though he tried to aviod the church services he would gladly join in voluteering for any event they had planned. Holloween festivals in October, Thanksgiving feast in November, Christmas plays in the December, going to the shelter on Saturdays. He'd never been involved in church functions but it was fun, innocent-hard working fun. When weekends when there was nothing to do he would take her to the south end for canoeing lessons in the near by river. They walked together, hand and hand down the trail stopping occasionally for photo snaps. In a pink dress he bought for her, she felt beautiful. she felt confident.

Now she has arrived. Pulling into an empty parking space she turns off her car. Not wanting to move, not wanting to face reality. All of those times they had spent together...waisted. All of those pictures were burnt in her anger. How long will she feel like this? When will she be hole again? She looks at the gold medal she had hung on her reaview mirror. 1st place. He was there for that long day. 6am they piled in the van, her mom, dad, sister and of course him. They drove to the site where the marathon would be. Together they ran that race, side by side they kept each other going. He left her now...she couldn't think about it anymore. Grabbing a box of tissues she put her black heels on that matched her black dress; she got out of the car. Forever isn't long enough.

character

"Did Caroline Yip in Don Lee's "the Prince of Eggs in China" leave her lover, Dean, simply because the autor needed to creat a fight between the two that would set up their later actions? Or was Lee compelled to let Carloine leave because the insecure Carloine he had come to know could not stay with a man she learn s is a tremendously sucessful artist- not the moderately accomplished carftsman she though he was? To put it another way, did Lee's characters eerge from the story, or did the story emerge from the characters?"

To write a story one must think about the characters and the actions of these characters. As viewers, we don't think about how much goes into a story. Every character must have a role, every character must serve a purpose and every character must be thought out carefully. This reading made me think about how much effort an author must put into their stories. You can't just sit down with a laptop and start typing away, one must do serious planning. What is the point you are trying to get across to your audience? How will you have your character act and how much will the characters grow? One of the most important question is how will audience relate to your characters. To have your audience relate to your character is vital. People care about things simply because it relates to them, they don't care about things they don't know about. Are your characters going to go through things that your audience have experience? Do your characters act like your audience? It's important for your audience to understand your characters.

To write a story is to put thoughts into it. Your characters must have a reason to exsists, they must help you tell the story you want your audience to know.

Sonny's blues

Sonny's blues is a narrative story between two brothers living in a rough part of town. The narrator and Sonny never really had a tight relationship in fact several times in the story the narrator said how he wishes he could relate to his brother. Sonny went to jail because he was addicted to heroin and when he recovered he came home to live with this older brother, the narrator. Throughout the story the narrator is bringing up past events that dealt with him and Sonny. One part that really touched me was when the narrator said "I wanted to say more, but I couldn't. I wanted to talk about will power and how life could be-well, beautiful. I wanted to say that it was all within." This is extremely sad to me since I am coming from a Christian perspective. I often wonder how do people live the daily grind without hope? How do you deal with stress whether it's dealing with the family, fiancial, school, friends, relationships. We live in America and we are known to have an abundance in materialism but does that get us through our day? Can our car or college degree save us from ourselves? Many times we rely too heavily on what we have to be our savior just like life got rough for Sonny and he resorted to heroin. "It makes you feel-in control. Sometimes you've got to have that feeling." This quote Sonny was referring to how heroin made him feel. He was in desperate need of being in control of his life, to have this peace that God can only give. He didn't have it so he was looking to the world for solutions. In the Bible it states that God made a little hole in our heart that we will wont to have filled in our life but it has to be him to fill it otherwise when it's not him it doesnt feel quite right. Only God can give us this peace that we all are desperatly looking for just like Sonny.

Imaginary Invalid

I attended the Southeastern production of the Imaginary Invalid on February 25 and watched the entire play.

The Imaginary Invalid I thought was well done by our fellow peers. This was not only a play but it was a musical. This play also had dancers to brighten up the play which I thought was very clever and very entertianing. The thing that stood out to me the most was the costumes. I loved the bright colors and the styles that they word to represent the late 19oo's.

Though I thoroughly enjoyed this play I often wondered why Professor Corrigan would have us attend the play. Was it to support our fellow class mates (Juliet was in it)? Surely it was not just for pure entertainment...Suppose he wanted us to get something out of this play. So as I watched the play I tried looking for the reason. I couldn't find one till the end of the play. Towards the end the Brother was telling the father that instead of listening to everyone else's advice he should just "become a doctor himself." The Father didn't understand how this could be because he was not trained as a doctor; he had no idea how to be a doctor. Then the last scene you see the father having his ceremony and giving fake answers and get's his diploma. The Father was able to recieved his diploma because none of the other doctors really knew what they were saying and the Father was able to make up fake words. Since no one understood each other who could say whether the Father was right or not?

To me that was the purpose in which I saw the play. We owe it to ourselves to get the best education that we can so we are able to be what we can be. If no one had an education then how are we to be in the same level. We would all be ignorant of the world around us. I suppose if everyone was ignorant then we would be on the same level. Then eventually someone will want to learn and when someone learns something then the rest of the world would be off balance. To fulfill our potential we must resume the responsibility to understand the world God has given us. Daniel Selby says "Education is learning what you didn't even know you didn't know."

When Lilacs Last in the Dooryard Bloom'd

In the poem When Lilacs Last in the Dooryard Bloom'd I see that through out the story he has transittioned from the fear of death to embracing death. Ath the begining death is symbolized with darkness and how the gray-brown bird sings in sadness. The colors fade away as the coffin is walked across the grass. To him death meant a loss of something great, in this case Abraham Lincoln. A great man with so much to give to the world and had given so much now he is gone, to be buried. I feel like that was where it ended for Whitman. Once you were buried that was the end of a person, you have lost something important.

Then as you read the through the story you see he starts to change his mind. Colors starts to come back and towards the end he starts to realize that death is a factor in living. "Comyly lovely and soothing death, undulate round the world,serenely arriving, arriving." Everyone must die. It is just a part of living. What is surprising is a few lines down it is as if Whitman is embracing death. "Dark mother always gliding near with soft feet, have non changed for thee a chant of fullest welcome?" To accept death is a place that everyone must get to but to embrace death is a special understanding. Is it that he finally realizes that death doesn't only have to be a time of sadness? At a person's funeral many great things are said about a person and how they lived. Perhaps when a person is dead that is when you realize how much they influenced your life. Perhaps he embraced death because he sees that after death occurs is when a legacy can live on. Abraham Lincoln died, yes, but his legacy as the 16th president lives on forever. Maybe Whitman sees that even in death a person still lives in their legacy.

pass

cemetary

I went to Lakeview, Tiger Flower, and Roselawn for this field trip and I stayed for at least 40 minutes.

Went I heard about the field trip to the cemetary I thought that it was a pretty interesting way to approach a poem. I went pretty open minded and tried to get the most out of it. I walked around looking at the names and dates of those who have past away. I have not had many close people who have died so it was not an emotional experience. I still tried to image what it would be like to be the one in the ground. 70 or so years from now I too will be died and buried away. What will people think about me? What will they have to say about me and what did I do for them? Will they visit me and think of me often? The cemetary is also a place of peace. Many people find the cemetary a scary place to be but in fact it is quite the opposite. My roommate had to take me there and she thought it was creepy but if you think about it the cemetary is the most peaceful and safe place one can be at. Everyone is dead so there is no one there to harm you. As we go through our daily life we forget about the future that will come out way. By the way we treat each other and go about our day we think we will live forever. Going to the cemetary helped me to take a breathe and reflect on the kind of life I live.

When Lilacs Last in the Dooryard Bloom'd

When Lilacs last in the Dooryard Bloom'd was an extremely long poem. Unlike the Living Cookbook this poem has a lot more to say. Though this poem was long it had a lot of beautiful descriptions and imagery that you could paint with your mind as you read.

Lilac blooming perennial and drooping star in the west

O shades of night- O moody, tearful night!

Stands the lilacs-bush tall-growing with heart-shaped leaves of rich green, with many a pointed blossom rising delicate, with the perfume strong I love

Over the breast of the spring, the land, amid cities, amid lanes and through old woods, where lately the violets peep'd from the ground, spotting the gray debris, amid the grass in the fields each side of the lanes, passing the endless grass, passing the yellow-spear'd wheat, every grain from its shroud in the dark-brown fields uprisen.

Over the rising and sinking waves, over the myriad fields and the prairies wide

And carried hither and yon through the smoke, and torn and bloody, and at last but a few shreds left on the staffs (and all in silence), and the staffs all splinter'd and broken.

These are beautiful imagery that Walt Whitman painted for the death of Abraham Lincoln. Though the poem was long, I personally do not think that if he cramped all of his thoughts into a page would have painted a picture as he did here. Like Professor Corrigan states "If a poem is summarized then perhaps in the process of summarizing a poem we truly loose the essences of a poem as it is to be." Looking at all of these (and many more in the poem) you could not sum up the images that Whitman must have seen in his mind as he wrote. Walt Whitman used many old English which makes the poem even harder to read it was a nice touch. It made the poem even older, like in Abraham Lincoln's time.

Cookbook

On friday for class we got to experience a poem. When I hear that we had to read a poem I groaned a little bit inside. I have never fully understood poems, most of the time I don't understand their meanings. THey don't make any sense to me and I automatically want to scan over them.

This poem was different. It was about an onion. Yes, an onion. The most insignifcant piece of veggetable known to man. Is it even a veggetable? Well regardless I'm wandering what makes someone want to write about an onion and on top of that what makes our teacher want to make us read about an onion. I read the first time...ok that was weird. Then he makes us evaluate it. I'm still wondering what he's going at. Then we read it again, he reads to us and at this time it starts making more sense. Is this writer talking about an onion? Perhaps she is just simply talking about the signifcant of an onion or is she talking about the pains and insifigant she felt? Is she talking about a group of people or an event that she experienced? As we read along I start digging deep within the story and I realize that perhaps this poem is a representation.

I have always read a poem just to get it over with. Now I realize that to understand a text you must read it several times and not only do you read it but you must experience and take it further than the words. For the onion we saw our teacher cut up the onion and we got to smell it. This brought the story out to life. I actually grew an appreciation for onions. More than that I have grown a deep appreciation for poems.

evaluating Joel

Joel is a representation of God and his people. The tie between us doing what we want to do and what God wants us to do. If we read this carefully it is a love story that God has written to us. Though when it says "what the gnawing locust has left, the swarming locust has eaten; and what the swarming locust has left, the creeping locust has eaten. and what the creeping locust hast left the stripping locust has eaten." Now we're reading this and asking, "How is that a love story?" God is the lover crying out to his children to return to him. He knows that he is the only we should be worshiping. The warns us that the returning of Jesus is coming and that we must repent. If we don't then it maybe too late but God doesn't want it to be too late for us. He wants us to have a chance, and second and third chance. As the story goes on it shows the compassion God has for his people. "Now return to the Lord your God, for he is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger, bounding in loving kindness and relenting of evil." Just as a lover would gently and kindly beckons his children back to him. Showing that his intent is not to destroy us but to keep us safe. Joel also talks about the end of time when Jerusalem will be restored again. When all of the promised of the Lord will come in full swing. There will be flowing of milk and honey, a paradise for his people who follows him. For his children in whom he has been chasing after for so many years.

Joel could also the time on this world. The beginning of Joel is the begining in the Old Testament with God warning his children like he does so often. This is when he is talking directly to his children. The middle of Joel is God present. With us now, when it states "It will come about after this that I will pour out my Spirit on all mankind...before the great and awesome day of the Lord comes." The Holy Spirit didn't come until Jesus so I've concluded that it would be the present. Towards the end of Joel is the next coming of Jesus where he will renew Jerusalem. This is what is to come and Jesus will come back as the great Savior for the world to see.

Joel

The book of Joel is really God's warning to his people. Just like in the dessert when his people were turning away from him, God will punish his people if they don't turn from their evil ways. Over and Over again God will warn them, with prophets and his words. God doesn't want to punish his people, he loves his sons and daughters but just like a parent punishing their child from doing wrong God must punish us.

This applies to us even to this day. How is it that God will give his children all of the warnings yet we still will not hear him, nor do we turn from our evil ways. I think about how we will sit here and read God's word and say to ourselve "how blind must the Isrealites be not to see what God is trying to tell them. How can you be doing exactly what God is telling you not to do and how could you complain and worry when God has always taken care of you?" Many times I will read The story of Noah and how, through Noah, God warned those people over and over to repent. In the dessert God told his children over and over again that he will take care of their needs such as the mana from the sky. When things got hard them would wished to be back in Egypt even when God will tell them that he will take care of them. I often wonder if that is what God is telling us today. "How can you worry about your day when I'm providing for you? How can you question my exsistence when I've shown you myself over and over agian?" Of course he understands our heart and does not think we are stupid but we must be. We have more evidence than the Isrealites in the Bible. We have their stories to read from and should that not be enough evidence for us to be in faith?

The things they carried

"The things they carried were largely determined by necessity...can openers, pocket knives, heat tabs, wrist watches, dog tags, kool aid, lighters...together these items wieghted between fifteen and twenty pounds." The soliders carried gum with them, of course gum doesn't weigh that much, in fact it doesn't weigh that much at all. But then you have the salt tablets which doesn't wiegh that much either. But you put alot of these items in a bag, and of course by itself they dont weigh alot but together little by little the weights add on, soon after a soliders are carrying up to fifteen to twenty pounds.

This story is like a representation of a person who has alot of baggages. We go through life and maybe someone hurts us so we hold onto this resentment. Then something happens to us and we feel ashamed, we feel anger, we feel alone. All of these feelings are things that we carry with us through the journey of life yet we don't realize how much they weigh. We may not even realize that we carry the resentment or the anger, or the loneliness, it doesn't really show itself in our daily life. But years after years we feel heavy, we feel like we're carrying the world on our shoulders and we can't even stand to carry our own head. We get angrier at the fact that we feel so heavy but you can't just throw those things out. We've been carrying them for so long, we don't even know we've been carrying that same anger on our back. We think we have forgotten that person for something they've done to us yet when they do something new that is hurtful to us we coil back all of those times they hurt us. We haven't really forgiven anyone. The truth of the matter is we just moved on, we pushed those feels aside not really dealing with them. But what we really did is put it in our bag and carried it with us till we have the opportunity to pull it back out to use against that person who hurt us. Don't let the sun go down on your anger, everyday throw your junk away so you can carry the important things in your life with you like love and memories.

Grief Observed

I have loved reading the Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis. He is a profound writer and a compelling author. He has written stories that touch our souls to stories that make us think and wonder. He is a man chasing after the affection and love of God. He is truely a great idol that will live in literature forever. The Grief Observed was such a great book not only for it's exposure to great details to which I (as a reader) can connect with his sadness for his lost wife but also for his bravery to question God. I have never lost anyone who is close to me, and I praise God for that but I still could feel C.S. Lewis' heart. I could feel the pain that he went through and that is what a great writer do, they have the ability to make the reader connect with their stories whether the reader has experienced the event before or not. He also was brave to question God. One of the greatest theologian and a great follower of God was not afraid to question what he knew. When his wife died, he rethought everything he stood for. He questioned where his wife was, what Heaven would truely be like, what she is doing and how our time effects her. These things we (if grown up in a church) were taught and we don't really question it but here, a grown man, a great theologian steps back and wonders what happens if we were taught wrong. As he said "Not that I am in much danger of ceasing to beliebe in God. The real danger is of coming to believe such dreadful things about him." Even in this tragedy he never doubted the exsistence of God just questioned his situation. As Professor Corrigan states over and over again, "it is alright to question." Through this book we learn to question God and to question the world that we live in to truely grasp how wonderful life is. We must reach outside of our daily thoughts to see that the world is greater and that there are great things we can accomplish with the right questions.

grief observed. ch1

"Why is he so present commander in our time of prosperity and so very absent of help in times of trouble?"

So why does God remain silent in our pains and suffering? What is he waiting for? I understand what C.S. Lewis was trying to say here. It seems like in our times of prosperity he's there with us. And if we are Christians then we must not forget to thank him for his blessings. But In our greatest feat we hear nothing, we feel nothing. It's almost like he is sitting there, watching us toss and turn in our sleep, walking through life numb. As Christians we'll cry out for him, look around hoping he'll show up in some sort of way so we can see that he is there. Maybe even hoping for an epiphany, anything to take us our of our monotony. Sometimes in our hardest times he refuses, for whatever reason he makes us suck it up and wait. Waiting is what hurts the most, he doesn't even say "wait for me" he just does nothing so if we're in faith we assume that we are to wait. This is where some people give up on him, waiting to us doesn't feel like we accomplishing anything but sometimes that's exactly what we need.

Also I went through a phase in my life where things just went wrong, ALL THE TIME. I was a believer at the time so I would call to God, pray and seek him but i heard nothing, felt nothing. This went on for 2 years and little by little I just lost my faith. I felt like life had stopped. I lived like that and finally realized that I couldn't do that forever. So I started going back to church, read the Bible, tried so hard to feel God again. To be back in his presence and for him to pull me out of my situation. For months nothing happened, I remember asking God "Why won't you help me? You said ask and you will receive." Nothing, I felt like he was just sitting there in Heaven, watching me in my despair. The thing is I know without a doubt that God is real but at that time it felt like when I prayed I was talking to myself. I felt dumb for talking to myself so I quit praying. I had no idea what he was doing, waiting for something and honestly to this day I still don't know. But during that time I talked to my pastor and I said "I can't feel him, I can't feel God." He said to me "You won't always feel him, you don't have to. Just know that he is there, like he promised." This is when I started feeling hope again, even though he didn't come to me in an epiphany but in human.

Happy Endings

I Thought this story was intriguing yet insightful. The best part is that it was short, keeps your interest and easy to read. After reading this story I thought about what I would take away from this story and to me it's the choices that we make. In our life we are given free choice, no one can take this away from us; not even God. We can choose how we can live our life and what the end looks like.

I will be discussing the first three options: Of course as we look at A, it was the happy ending so somehow they managed to make the "correct decisions" in their lives.

But as we read option B we see how a bad choice ends in tragedy. If we will discuss Mary's choices. She did not have to continue this relationship with John. She knows he is not any good for her nor does he love her. Personally I think she's stuck in a rut because John keeps coming back to her for her body therefore she is not able to make a clean start. Now John's choice is the fact that he won't commit to her nor does he leave her completely because she has become reliable to him.

Option C has little to be desired for. John is a middle aged man who has a good life, he should have just committed to his wife and all would have probably ended well. Of course this did not happen and Mary, not in love with John, is entangled in a love triangle. If she loves James then she should just wait for him to finish his stage or learn to love what he loves, or find someone else to commit to.

I think Margaret is trying to tell us that each decisions makes a difference in our endings. This is something that I have always analyzed, even at a young age. I was always afraid of making the wrong decisions that I would regret later. So in turn sometimes I don't make a decision at all but not making a decision is in deed making one.

Frankie and Johnny

"This story only goes to show that there ain't no good in man."First off I believe that this was written from a bias point of view. We can not assume that off of one relationship (Frankie and Johnny) that all men behave in such a manner. There are good men out there who are faithful and caring to their lovers till the day that they die. Like I had mentioned before this is equally as Frankie's faults as it is Johnny's. Yes Johnny was ruthless but Frankie's response is what would have made the difference. She could have left him, talked to him, gone to a counselor but the story never said any of that. So as a reader I assume that she acted irrationally and went straight home to get her gun. Didn't really think about the fact that she will lose her lover forever, and it would be in her hands.

"This story has no morals. This story has no end." I believe that this story does have morals and I would say we could all take a little bit from this folksong. Personally for me this story was telling me that we should all think before we act. we should consider the consequences and the feelings of others. To me neither Frankie nor Johnny really realized what their consequences would be. First off Frankie probably was doing something to make Johnny cheat on her. Perhaps she wasn't giving enough into the relationship or she changed into someone different, but "lovers" don't stop being lovers overnight; even if the other woman is attractive. Even though this story made Johnny looked awful for cheating on Frankie it was half of her fault. In all relationship bot sides interact or have lack of interactions. Now we talk about Johnny; he did the naughty. I'm sure Johnny at one point thought about what would happen if he cheated on Frankie. Perhaps Frankie would leave him, or they would fight all the time, or maybe she would never find out. Either way he took that chance, he put himself first, before Frankie. At the beginning of the story it says "Frankie and Johnny were lovers." This means that they both loved each other It was not just a one way relationship. I'm sure he wouldn't have cheated on Frankie if he knew what the consequences would be. The least he could have done was left her but in all honestly they didn't try hard enough in the relationship. People assume that relationship last because they were "meant to be." Love isn't easy; sure everyone loves but love does not last without effort. We must be committed to love that is the only way it works out; even the longest relationships had rough times, but they agree to be committed to each other and work it out together.

Literary profile

My earliest memories actually happened when I was around 9 or 10 years old. I came to America then and did not speak English at all but I remember my dad showing me pictures from books like Winnie the Pooh and Barney. A little while later when I learned English my parents would read the Bible to me. Those stories always fascinated me because they were just like the princess movies that I would watch. The story of Ester was like Cinderella, Ruth was like Snow White and David was like Robin Hood. In that sense they weren't merely words on pages but they because images I saw.

I must admit I am not the most habitual reader but I had a lot of time on my hands last semester due to the fact that I was stuck on campus 24/7. So I resolved to reading this series, Ashley Stockingdale, by Kristin Billerbeck. I was fairly interested for the first book but it had a lot to do with girls wanting to get married. With all of this marriage talk in Southeastern it was just too much for me so I quit after the first book but I enjoyed it for the time being though.

Last Christmas my boyfriend gave me this book it was called The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein. It had been his ultimate favorite book since he was little and he gave it to me with a little note inside saying "I will be your giving tree." At first I thought it was just cute but as time went on he has always been giving to me; just like that tree. This book isn't significant to me because of the words that the author wrote but it became significant to me because of the symbolic meaning my boyfriend made it to be.

Literature has always been a difficult subject for me. I dread reading but I love to write. There was a point in my life where I was going through a "rough spot" and I had a lot of emotions inside of me that I needed to express. I didn't trust anyone so my counselor suggested that I start writing in diaries and I've been doing it ever since I was in middle school. In a way writing has kept me sane just like books were an escape for my sister in her rough times.